Reality Check

The other day as I was driving to work, I was talking on the phone with my mom.  We talked about Zachary and his injured ankle. The fact that he may have to wait to serve a mission in order for his ankle to heal. We discussed how difficult of a trial this has been, not only for him, but us as a family as we have watched him go through this; supporting him in anyway we could. Why couldn't the surgery have worked? Why couldn't this have happened AFTER he returned home from his mission? Shouldn't all righteous desires be rewarded? But with no real answers to these questions, I had to end the conversation since I had arrived at the hospital.

As I walked on to the floor, my focus changed to "work mode". I hung my coat up on the rack, put my lunch in the fridge, and took my pen and paper with me, ready to start my next 12 hours. After receiving report from the previous nurse, and planning out my day, I went to meet my patients. The last room I walked into, I found a young man, laying in bed. He had a bald head with no eyebrows, sunken eyes, and wearing a hospital gown. His wonderful mom sat on the couch next him. This snapshot picture is not uncommon for me to see. It's actually quite normal. 

But this time, it was different.

As I spoke with him and his mom, thoughts raced through my head. As soon as I left the room, I raced to the computer, eager to read his full history.

• He is 19 years old
• A star athlete in high school, particularly basketball
• Youngest of 5 kids
• 6' 5"

Sound familiar?

He was diagnosed with a form of blood cancer 2 years ago. After a year of treatment, he went into remission. Due to his recent good health, he was allowed to serve a mission and was called to Peru. But just weeks before leaving, he started coughing, and felt fatigued. It made his mom nervous, so she quickly took him to the doctor where they drew blood. The results showed that the cancer had returned.

They immediatly started chemo.

As I sat at my desk, I realized, that less than hour ago, I was complaining and second guessing. I was
frustrated and sad.  Asking why, why, why?

but now?

Everything changed.